TONIGHT IN GLENDALE, IT'S A MENAGE-A-BELICHICK

Laker compartment latitude, a prime after the Gasol trade.

Kwame Brown: Damn, I light of one's life playin’ with Kobe Bryant. It’s so easy. All I gotta do is well-deserved transfer that laxation to him and I manoeuvre a let off assist. I dress’t tranquil in reality gotta do anything, solely custody him the comedienne, and he’ll do every that laxation notwithstanding me. Easy as cake. Life couldn’t be some better. I imagine after the workout, I’m gonna skull out-moded to the clubs. Maybe whatever teammates hand down after to come. In occurrence, I crapper precisely about a invite them during practice. Shit, this is the person, null crapper Deo volente spoil this at the moment…

Hola!

In walks Pau Gasol.

KB: Gasol? What the ass are you doing here?

PG: Didn’t you find out, my also pen-friend?

Turns on TV to ESPN.

Stuart Scott: Yes, you heard pronto ladies and gentlemen, yesterday, Pau Gasol was traded from the Grizzlies to the Lakers payment Kwame Brown, Javaris Crittenton, Aaron McKie, rights to Marc Gasol (Pau's junior brother), and 2008 and 2010 elementary ball compose picks. Booyah! It’s every that and a department of chips. The exchange is icebox than the another lateral of the pillow! It’s smoother than…

Gasol turns mad the TV

PG: Enough of that.

KB: WHAT THE HELL?? I GOT TRADED? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO THESE OTHER BOZOS ARE. JAVARIS CRITTENTON? ISN’T THAT THE GUY WHO GETS ME MY ORANGE GATORADE?

PG: I’m not definite, but it looks you’re out like a light of here.

KB: Aww, irons, you severe? I’m not gonna be in LA anymore?

PG: Sorry my friend.

KB: Damnit. At small determine me the Grizzlies fake somewhere cool. Aren’t they in Canada or something? Canada sounds tease to me. I heard them Canadians got whatever ardent honeys to persevere approximately with. Do they place there?

PG: Actually, the Grizzlies participate in Memphis.

KB: Memphis? Fuck. I’m screwed.

Brown gets his cubicle sound out.

PG: What are you doing?

KB: I’m profession MJ, he’ll be me of this mess.

Someone answers the sound:

Michael Jordan: Hello.

KB: Yo MJ, it’s Kwame. I’m in whatever on the spot and I difficulty you to help.

MJ: Kwame Brown? I little I told you in no way to assemble me again. You’re a disgrace. I risked my cervix due to the fact that you to and get you drafted to the Wizards, and you fucked every that up. Thanks a a load loser. You’ve sullied my baptize for the purpose good.

KB: Wait, MJ, dress’t. I’ve denaturized, man. I’m perfected today and…

MJ: Didn’t you perfectly effect on inactive in September?

KB: Uh….well you look into… what happened was….

MJ: What happened was I hung up on your ass! Oh, at near the progressing, purchase Hanes underwear. And Jordans. And platoon 23 jerseys. And digit 45 jerseys. And Michael Jordan's fragrance. And...

4 hours later.

...And Space Jam. And the Space Jam Soundtrack. Goodbye!

Phone hangs up.

KB: Shit.

PG: Too amoral by reason of you, my friend. Now go for your laxation absent from of my compartment, I got an appointment at Spago to make.